News D(r)ive.

"Honey, can you take a cab today? I need to get to office early" Deepak shouted from the bathroom

He felt proud about his discovery that bath time is the best to communicate bad news. Normally the reaction time for a 'not so bad news' is the time taken to fill a bucket of water.

He got ready and picked up his bag.

"What is the urgency today? "

"I need to pick up a colleague from hotel. He is from US and need some guidance to reach office? "

"Why cant he take a cab?"

"He is new to the place, honey. And was looking for some help"

"OK,  I need to leave now .Every second I spend here now, will be extra 10 mins in traffic"

Deepak picked up the news paper and ran.

"And what is the newspaper for?"

"Today I would be taking the KR puram route" He shouted while running down the stairs.

Rick had read a book on India to impress his Indian friends . He was watching out for the cows and monkeys on the road. Within a few minutes he spoke all he knew about Yoga,Taj Mahal, Narendra Modi...

Deepak pretended to be impressed with his knowledge on India. After all, this is not the first time he is listening to similar information sharing from visitors.

But he felt proud about one thing that Rick mentioned.

"Deepak, how do you actually measure the space between two cars and squeeze in yours, without touching any of those. Also you manage to get in there first, before the ones on your sides."

Suddenly the car shook vigorously with a big noise.

"Sorry Rick, avoiding that pot hole could have created a bigger mess"

Rick realized that he should avoid distraction to reach safely. Then his eyes stumbled on the newspaper at the back seat.

"Can I have a look at the newspaper"

"It is all yours"

He started glancing through the headlines.

"Who is this Kanhaiya Kumar? Looks to be a young chap. He is making some allegations on Indian soldiers. Is he a famous personality?"

"He is a university student leader. Of course made famous by our government, police, media and politics"

"Has he done something great?"

"Not sure, but he was charged with sedition and was sent to jail"

" Wow! that is nice if going to jail makes you famous, and that too for sedition. Why is he roaming around freely?"

" I think either they dont have enough evidence or was fabricated. He is now the new mascot of intolerance on freedom of expression"

"Yeah, that is a tragedy if it is true, but why is he making statements not related to this and getting so much of attention?"

"He is a by-product of 'sensationalization', which is very frequent thing in our country now. That will give you an instant celebrity status. The issue becomes irrelevant and the people grabs attention. Then you and the people around make use of it. And the so called common man will watch the drama and pay for it too."
"This time around, it was initiated by our government"

"Anyways, we make our journalists' life easy.."

"Holy Cow!!! You guys have invented a wonderful way to recycle plastic" Rick pointed at a cow eating plastics from the garbage dump.

Deepak laughed " You just said it is holy. It can digest anything"

"May be the plan is to import more cows with the new 'cleaning cess' " he said to himself

After all, Rick was happy to see a cow on road. He can now go back and confirm the same.


Do you have any floods in India now? I see a picture of Army building bridges"

"Ha ha.For sure not at this time my friend. There is an international event by a Guru who teaches Art for Living"
"Is he an artist who makes a living with that? "

"Oh sorry, It is Art of Living. A modified yoga to enhance life. Dont ask whose"

"And why does he need to pay penalty to the government. There is a news about it as well."

"If you have money then the government will allow you to pollute the environment, get soldiers to build bridges for you, cheat our banks and flee out of the country"


"Hey talking about Yoga, isn't this the same baba who is a yoga expert?" Rick pointed at an advertisement

"Yes, he is"

"Is he into modelling? Why is he advertising for noodles company? "

"Hehe. he is not advertising. It is his own company and one fine day they started manufacturing everything, from honey to noodles, tooth paste to chromosome modifiers and many more. And we protect his empire by our security forces too.."

"Interesting, I didn't know that Yoga also promotes junk food. And isn't it crazy to be the ambassador of yoga and to produce and promote all the so called junk foods of the world? "

"Everything sells in this world"

"Hey, isn't this Sunny Leone in the picture? Why is she all decked up in an Indian dress?"

"Yes, she is. She is doing lead roles in Indian movies now"

"Oh No! why don't you guys let her do what she is good at"

Deepak sighed. "In that case, the place for this news paper is in toilet and I wonder where most of the characters in these news belong to.."